(Mr. Mackey) (Eric Cartman)
And everyone should get along..
Okay children quiet down, quiet down
Children I’d like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr. Shady
Children quiet down please
Brian don’t throw that (SHUT UP!)
Mr. Shady will be your new substitute
while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (HE’S GOT AIDS!)
Good luck Mr. Shady

(Eminem)
Hi there little boys and girls (FUCK YOU!)
Today we’re gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
But first, I’d like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi Bob! (Hi Bob) Bob’s 30 and still lives with his mom
and he don’t got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
and wait in the parkin lot for waitresses off the clock
when it’s late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
Drag ‘em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
’til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
But Bob wouldn’t knock it off cause he’s crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
You couldn’t even take him to Dre’s to get Bob a Dr.
He grabbed Stace’ by the legs as chopped it off her
and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
And that’s the story of Bob and his marijuana,
and what it might do to you
So see if the squirrels want any – it’s bad for you

Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)

See children, drugs are bahhhd (c’mon)
and if you don’t believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
and if you don’t believe him, ask ya mom (that’s right)
She’ll tell you how she does ‘em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (that’s right)
So you don’t act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
Then there’s really nothin else to say (sing along)
Drugs are just bad, mmm’kay?

(Eminem)
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
FUCK NO you ain’t seen it, it’s the size of a peanut (Huh?)
Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
If someone ever offers it to you, don’t do it
Kids two hits’ll probably drain all your spinal fluid
and spinal fluid is final, you won’t get it back
So don’t get attached, it’ll attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
and decides to try five, when he’s bribed by five guys
and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
and his eyes roll back in his skull (blblblblblb)
His back starts tah – look like the McDonald’s Arches
He’s on Donald’s carpet, layin horizontal barfin (BLEH)
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!
cause they took it too, so they think it’s funny
So they’re laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhile, Zach’s in a coma, the action is over
and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he’s practicin yoga
And that’s the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
So don’t even feed that to squirrels class, cause it’s bad for you

Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)

See children, drugs are bahhhd (that’s right)
and if you don’t believe me, ask ya dahhhd (that’s right)
and if you don’t believe him, ask ya mom (you can)
She’ll tell you how she does ‘em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack)
So you don’t act like everyone else does (that’s right)
And there’s really nothin else to say (but umm)
Drugs are just bad, mmm’kay?

(Eminem)
And last but not least, one of the most humungous
problems among young people today, is fungus
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything slows down when you eat some of ‘em..
And sometimes you see things that aren’t there (Like what?)
Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
(Mr. Shady what’s a G-string?) It’s yarn Claire
Women stick ‘em up their behinds, go out and wear ‘em (Huh?)
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow’s tongue (How come?)
cause it comes from a cow’s dung (Gross!!)
See drugs are bad, it’s a common fact
But your mom and dad, know that’s all that I’m good at (Oh!)
But don’t be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
They’re gonna come for me and I’ma have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise and hide, cause it’ll be my fault
So don’t do drugs, and do exactly as I don’t,
cause I’m bad for you

Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)

See children, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh)
and if you don’t believe me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down)
and if you don’t believe him, ask ya mom (you can ask)
She’ll tell you how she does ‘em all the time (and she will)
So kids say no to drugs (say no)
So you don’t act like everyone else does (like I do)
And there’s really nothin else to say (that’s right)
Drugs are just bad, mmm’kay?

(Mr. Mackey) (Eric Cartman)
Come on children, clap along (SHUT UP!)
Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin dick!)
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)
So don’t do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!)
so there’ll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
(Mushrooms killed Kenny! fart Ewww, ahhh!)
(So, fucked up, right now..)

(feat. 50 Cent, Busta Rhymes)

(Chorus)
Come get me
If you mothafuckas want Shady
If Pac was still here now,
He would never ride with Ja
Na, na, na, na ,na, na, na, na

(Eminem)
Makaveli rest in peace
Irv Gotti, too much Bacardi in his body
Miles like a .12 gauge shotti

(Chorus 2x)

(Eminem)
You ain’t a killa, you a pussy
That exstacy got you all emotional and moushy
Bitches wearin rages in photos, Ja’s words bein quoted
In the SOURCE, stealin ‘Pac’s shit like he just wrote it
You loud mouth, pray to god, hope that no one’s listenin
See 50 comin for me, I’ma guard my, my position
No one will pay attention
To me, please Gotti, here I go
Gimme this pill, exstacy got me feelin so
Invincible
Now all of a sudden I’m a fuckin mad man who screams
Like I’m ‘Pac but I’m not, enemies, Hennesy
Actin like I’m great, but I’m fake, I’m CRAZY
Sweat drip, get me off this trip, someone stop this train
Some say my brain is all corrupted, fuck from this shit
I’m stuck, addicted from these drugs, I’ma quit
Sayin mothafucka’s name’s before someone fucks me up
Ain’t no pussies over here, partner, see you hell, fucker

(Eminem Sings)
Come get me
If you mothafuckas want Shady
If Pac was still here now,
He would never ride with Ja
Na, na, na, na ,na, na, na, na

Get off that E
Before you try to fuck with me
It’s Aftermath here now
Shady Records got it locked
La, la, la, la , la, la, la, la

(50 Cent)
Temesentruries is packed with promise makers
Never realized the precious time them bitch niggas is wastin
Insitutionalize, my bitches bring me product by the bundles
Hustle hard from the cell, G-Unit mothafucka, WE BALLIN
Catch me countin trees when I’m callin
Can you set my car, Ceo let me sip on Henessy, Can I sips some more?
Hell, I done been in jail, I ain’t scared
Momma checkin in my bedroom, I ain’t there
I got a head with no screws in it
Mothafuckas think they can stop 50… they losin it
Lil’ nigga named Ja, thinks he live like me
Talkin about he left the hospital, took 9 like me

(50 Cent)
You lil fantasies nigga
I’ll Reject your Deposit
When that lil sweet ass comin out of the closet
now he wonderin why DMX blow tha mouth
next time grown folks talkin bitch close your mouth
Peep me I take this war shit deeply
Seen too many real niggas ballin like these bitch niggas beat me
yous a mothafuckin punk and you see me with gloves
quit havin those fuckin kids with ya ulgy ass mom
and you can tell them niggas you roll with whatever you want
but you and i know whats goin on Nigga pay back I know your bitch ass from way back
Witness be strap with max You know I don’t play that
All these old rappers tryin to advance its all over now — take it like a man
HAHA–Irv lookin like Larry Holmes, flabby and sick
tryin to playa hate on my shit- made of fat dick
Lovin htis shit hats how you made me-feelin like I got you niggas crazy, i like
Against all odds up with my dogs mothafuckas now
It’ll be the realist shit I ever wrote
Against all odds, up in the studio gettin blow to the truest shit i ever spoke???

(Busta Rhymes:)
Hey yo I’m one of tha most humble, rep the streets to tha core
Hey Jeffrey, What the fuck you come involve with me for?
You spent a long time comin like a bless and a check
you see 106 and park fans don’t even fuckin respeck you
Its kinda funny when ya be pol fake like like you thug
runnin around talkin shit that he ain’t even capable of
now let me OFF this cock sucka watch me handle you nigga
If i recall Violator use to manage you nigga then took a closer look and
realized you was an empostor theres never been a Violator on a Murda Inc rosta. Dumb ass
now who shoop?– Ah made you look, you said Busta in the same oh hook, You Stupid
if yall shoot I take a look at ya man tha bitch shot himself infront of Def Jam
chedda bar bass nigga start adjustin ya plan
you let the streets down nigga-(a) Pologize to ya fans
watch ya pull a lil stunt like we ain’t know where you are ya lil fanny
desperate be tryin while we establish a buzz I know tha shit is drivin you crazy You wonderin how
The streets ain’t never want you Beatrice what you gonna do now?
Now if you wanna beef with me, then i’m beefin with you
I think about tha game and what a slight AH–WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT YOU
You finished I ain’t tryin to complete this just because I’m cool shouldn’
take my kindness for weakness

(Busta speakin in background)
Ooh shit ha ha That was fun Next time you got a problem with me, Address me
before you make shit a public issue and i’m gone, return back to my regular
self and have fun again
-One